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About Literature / Hobbyist Cody PaxtonMale/United States Recent Activity
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Leave the lights off
Can I tell you something
or will my heart be too much to take?
Can you accept who I am
or say I am nothing more than a mistake?
Will you hold my hand in sorrow
and let me deal the pain?
or will you shut me out at the last second
and say I am nothing more than a stain?
you see I am afraid to turn on the lights.
I don't want to see who I am.
My true colors would show, you wouldnt be able to stand.
Least that is what I think, because of my past.
Been beaten up for what I have done.
I have been called an ass.
Though I try so hard to be right and do believe I am at best.
I have given my all and taken the fall.
maybe I should just rest.
:iconbigbosspatriot1885:BigBossPatriot1885 3 0
There isnt anything I wouldnt do
I'll be looking over you
Untill I have no more strength.
Out of the shadows,
Out of deaths embrace.
Protection will be vile
And you wont have to deal with pain.
I will take it all and then some,
Thoughts and wishes in my brain.
I can not see you at all.
But I can feel the pain.
Please never forget me
Because without you
I cant breath at all...
Stay forever close and never leave my side
Remain with me and forever I can finally
If you cant reach...
Just call out my name..
And if you cant speak..
I can read your heart..
I can not see you
The pain englufs my soul
Please never forget me
Without you
I cant breath at all..
Stay forever close and never leave my side..
Remain with me here and I can finally
new one -
I shouldnt of made these mistakes
I should be there with you
Forget the logic and just kiss you
Fly there and hold you, it must be the truth
What else am i to do
Sit here and pout
About everything and having my mind a round-about
Thinking about the pain that
:iconbigbosspatriot1885:BigBossPatriot1885 0 0
Please, Never Forget About Me by BigBossPatriot1885 Please, Never Forget About Me :iconbigbosspatriot1885:BigBossPatriot1885 2 0
I Need You
I need you
And cradle everything you are
I need you
Like astronomers need the stars
I need you
Like taxi drivers needs their cars
I need you
So please, tell me how far
How far I must walk.
How far I must go.
To be where you are.
Stand toe to toe.
Hold you tight in my arms.
Never to let go.
Tell me how far.
I have to go
To kiss your gentle lips
And how much to show.
Show you how much I need you.
To never let you go.
Show you how much this is true.
I need you.
I need you
Like humans need air.
I need you
Like children need love and care.
I need you.
So please, tell me how many stairs.
How far I must climb.
To be where you are.
To show you how much I need you.
To show you how far.
How far I would go.
To show you everything.
Show you the truth.
I need you.
:iconbigbosspatriot1885:BigBossPatriot1885 4 2
Moving Forward by BigBossPatriot1885 Moving Forward :iconbigbosspatriot1885:BigBossPatriot1885 0 0 Rose With Swirls by BigBossPatriot1885 Rose With Swirls :iconbigbosspatriot1885:BigBossPatriot1885 2 0
So, Is It Worth It?
Y'know it really is funny when you think,
About all the time think.
Think about her and how I couldnt live without it.
But all in the end, it turns out to be shit
Leaving you feeling worthless and pointless.
Its funny when you think about it.
The mind gets over it quick but the heart stays the same.
Feeling the same emotions that brought about shame.
Constantly reminding you why you ran away
Ran away to escape the shadow of that day.
The day that made you feel all that shame.
You have someone new on your mind.
Never able to get them out no matter how hard you try.
But then you always wonder, stop and think
Does she even feel the same way?
Its funny when you think, is it even worth it?
Because through out life we deal with this struggle and pain
All this worthless shit
Trying to find the one person who deserves to be a part of it
Will they ever see it?
Will they ever notice you?
No matter how hard you try, you always tell that lie
The one that makes you wanna die
Die from the inside
:iconbigbosspatriot1885:BigBossPatriot1885 0 0
How quickly life seems to change
Once stood with steady feet
and now you yourself is the one you blame
Hating no one but God for all that has done
Rotting flesh lies with this confrontation
The arms reach out and seek what they must
To enslave a new one that has gone to hush
I understand now why this had to happen
So now you take the blame
The unfair reality was too much
As the monster began to change
Those responsible have never felt so alive
Kept it in so long, everyday is a lie
Broken skin and washed up hands
You have never seemed so broken
but I still understand
Revenge must quench its thirst
It must seek out to find
Find the monster that everyone hides
The change in season
Life broken into shards
Kept tied into a coffin
Leaving only scars
The cosmos screams its name
In everything it was
Your voice is surely being herd
But you have no meaning, it does.
:iconbigbosspatriot1885:BigBossPatriot1885 0 0
Hail To The King Baby
Young and full of life
Though with plenty of experience,
Through hardship and strife
Nothing can get by her more
Then an opportunity to settle the score
Her brain is full of ideas
And she write what she feels in her heart
No holding back with these scars
She has been doing this from the start
You think you may know her.
But you would be wrong
First glace and think this one is weak
But she is frighteningly strong
Mindset of a women who has felt pain
She only wished to be loved.
Sometimes she may but never herd an answer
From someone way up above
Expresses herself in a way she only knows how
She hardly thinks of the future.
She lives for the here and now.
Self control
And forgiveness too
She has so much wonderful traits
That she just wanted to share with you
But people can be cruel
And only want to cause pain
Causing a young girl to feel confused
Confused under heavy rain
But you wont fool this one
Oh no you will not
She is much stronger then she looks
Just wait and see
:iconbigbosspatriot1885:BigBossPatriot1885 0 0
Can you forgive me?
Please forgive me
For I have done you wrong
My mind drifted away carelessly
Without a care for you at all
Felt as if I was right
I kept holding onto myself
So tight
I drowned in myself to leave strife
Yet now look at the cause
Can you forgive me?
Can you forgive me?
I kept scratching at my past
The pieces seems to fall into place
I kept trying to become that one
Only to fall in disgrace
The actions I've done
Can you forgive me?
Can you forgive me?
If you can hear me
Just give me a sign
I need to know if you are listening
I need to know if you are fine
Is there any contact?
Any remorse?
I tried so hard
And it blew up in my face
I kept the wheel turning
And it lead to disgrace
I can not forgive myself
But what can I do?
I am absolutely nothing
Nothing without you
:iconbigbosspatriot1885:BigBossPatriot1885 0 0
The Dog I Love
No matter the mood I dwell
The sadness that engulfs my sleep
Preventing me from ever closing my eyes
You are always there for me
When my world is upside down
And I lay on nothing but a frown
You wag your tail till no end
You are always there to be my friend
Even though you eat like a pig
And pee like a horse
You always seem to make it better
Better with no remorse.
Mind of an animal
But your heart is bigger then most
Your love in unconditional
No matter the condition or host
I am happy to know
That you will never change
You will always be the dog I love
And it will always be that way
:iconbigbosspatriot1885:BigBossPatriot1885 0 0
I am not
When all hope seems lost
Forever tossed into the black void
You hold your hands to the sky
In hopes to hear my acord
I am the one you seek for
I am the one you call hope
I am the all that sleeps within you
I am the all that helps you cope
Only when the hour comes near
The clock strikes and you need
The only relevant moment when my services
Please, let me come in and feed
I am the one that seeks death
I am the one that seeks also life
I am the all that cast shadow
I am the all that deals with strife
You will say, beg, and pleed
Say forgive me father in times of need
But one thing you forget, something I am not
I am not the God you people have wrought
:iconbigbosspatriot1885:BigBossPatriot1885 0 0
Through Hell and Back
When you are on your last leg.
Broken down, wishing someone would stay.
Remember there will always be someone watching.
To hold your hand in harmony, hope you haven't forgotten.
When you have seen the worst of it all.
Feeling drowned, like you are you are ready to fall.
Remember someone close will lend a hand.
To bring you back up and help you understand.
Falling endlessly
State of decay
Chained memories
and so many other way.
Having to watch you fall
Was the worst I ever felt
Like watching some block my call
I could not help
Retrace my steps
Go back through sands of time
Drown in it
Claim back what is rightfully mine
Because for you I would go through
Go through depths of hell and back.
Just for you.
To make sure everything was safe
To make sure the sound was herd.
Answer everything and more
as much as I can concur
So bring out all your troubles and fear
Lay them onto me
Because I will go through hell and back.
To show you love and safety.
:iconbigbosspatriot1885:BigBossPatriot1885 3 0
An awaiting death.
Pale skin and crooked mouth.
A stare of immense chaos
No one to surmount.
I have taken off the crown of thorns.
Replaced with a new,
The blood still drips ever so,
Nothing no body could do.
Not that I would want them to.
A sacrifice of immense worthiness.
I have shed the black sheep,
I am the lamb of God.
Great power rests in these finger tips,
Yet the still claw at the ground.
I will dig down.
With a bloody covered dagger
And a cloak around my neck
This crown prevents any passage
I have no time to rest.
Black blood
Covers my floor
Trial and error
Nothing to live for
Hateful messages
Disrespectful lies
I can see even more clearly now
I can not die.
I am alone.
Forever I shall be.
Me and forever no one shall know
The kingdom of Solitude I once ruled.
I was king.
And still am.
Fear does not hold me back
But the face of regret
Other emotions i wish not to feel
People I have upset
As inhuman as I sound
Far from the truth.
I will dig down.
With these clawed hands.
:iconbigbosspatriot1885:BigBossPatriot1885 0 0
Creation Of Satan
God rips open the sky
Reveals the hidden truth
Behind the lies
As you look down and stare
Something you fine
None compared.
As hordes rain down from the heavens
Blood curdles at the feet
You pushed aside your fellow man
Because of your disbelief
You wanted salvation
Little did you know,
It lead to your damnation.
Dragged to the pits of tarturus
You new skin is born.
Horns plunge from your head
You hear that hellish scorn
You tried to find salvation
Wings torn off
You couldnt even have that!
You left behind your fellow man...
No turning back.
Humans are weak
You knew this all too well
When God's hand strikes down
It strikes down like hell.
Enjoy the stringed torment
Welcome the melodic scorn
When God is against you
A new enemy, Satan
Is born.
:iconbigbosspatriot1885:BigBossPatriot1885 0 0
When The Sun Doesn't Rise
The sun rises
Then it decides to fall.
The appears the moon.
Standing bright and tall.
Power beyond our control,
We have so many choices to make.
Yet we cant decide.
What to put at stake.
You gave life meaning.
But ended up being a faded cloud.
You couldn't help it anymore.
You left with hardly a sound.
What could you do,
It was beyond our control.
Now you sit with the ghosts.
Taking on a new role.
But I cant help but think.
There was something you wanted
Before this river ended.
Maybe you wanted to be with someone,
or leave it to me to end it.
Either way
Things still go on.
Nothing will ever change.
The sun will rise.
And then it will fall.
It had no meaning.
In a world so cruel,
It means nothing at all.
But not for me.
It means everything.
:iconbigbosspatriot1885:BigBossPatriot1885 0 0
Mostly contains poems of mine, but Anime artwork is in here too :)


I Hadn't Known ''Hurt'' Until the Now.
How am I to know what we, he did?
Was it my fault? Am I to blame?
Or was this actually violation and incrimination…?
He broke through the surface and watched me bleed…
Did he not see the tears spilling from my eyes?
Oh Heavenly God, where am I supposed to turn?
I don’t even understand what has happened, and what is happening…
The filth is permanent.
I swear it will never go away.
I need someone to swoop down and hold me close.
I need them to tell me “It’ll be okay” but mean it in a way that I know no harm is coming my way.
Will harm come my way again?
:iconwhereicallhome:WhereICallHome 1 3
Kristie California- Sabrina Araujo Photography. by KristieCalifornia Kristie California- Sabrina Araujo Photography. :iconkristiecalifornia:KristieCalifornia 11 4 Mutts in Love by xxnefariousxx Mutts in Love :iconxxnefariousxx:xxnefariousxx 8 6
Year One.
They meet. Completely coincidental. But always one-hundred percent on purpose.
She smiles. He fidgets.  
Year Two.
Friends. He is the boy down the street and she is the girl next door. Literally.
He makes her laugh. She makes him vulnerable.
Year Three.
Still friends. The best of friends.
He tells her secrets and she feels safe with him. She thinks he is charming.
He thinks she is beautiful.
Year Four.
He tells her he loves her.
She tells him she loves him too.
He is smitten. She is so happy.
They are the definition of Teenage Love.
Year Five.
Growing pains.
He makes mistakes. And she cries. And cries. And cries.
He is there to kiss away her tears and promises her he will change.
She believes him. But her heart is damaged.
Year Six.
Trusting is hard. He is trying to prove her wrong.
She wants to believe in the good in his heart.
He asks for one more chance and she gives it to him.
Because she loves him.
Year Seven.
He is her Prince Charming.
He has proved to
:iconxxnefariousxx:xxnefariousxx 2 5
MGS - Snake and Raiden quick sketch by wynahiros MGS - Snake and Raiden quick sketch :iconwynahiros:wynahiros 50 5 metal gear by nefar007 metal gear :iconnefar007:nefar007 2,268 185 Impa by kez-muff Impa :iconkez-muff:kez-muff 53 5
How the hell can I make
See that everything you say
Everything you do
Hurts me
And although I’m not perfect
And I am trying
And trying
To find some sense of
But you’re making it
Pretty damn difficult
And I realize there’s
I can say to get through to you
Because nothing has worked yet
And all I want is
Feel loved
Feel intelligent
Feel important
But you have taken that
All away from
:iconranza123:ranza123 9 3
congratulations! by Farremo congratulations! :iconfarremo:Farremo 23 12 Pirate Lady by RylthaCosplay Pirate Lady :iconrylthacosplay:RylthaCosplay 138 27
The Kiss
The kiss of life, of love, or of Death?
She swoons in your embrace-
Grasping your golden hand so delicately
Or perhaps your kiss brings death
Her grasp is her one last effort
To prevent the life from being sucked from her floral form
Perhaps you are autumn-
Your bronze and golden tones
Threaten to kill her bodily blooms
Or could you be winter instead?
Your black blocks of icy demise
Come to life again with the kiss of Spring
Her spirit awakens the dead soul underneath
The ivy atop your head begins to grow again.
Perhaps you aren’t dead or frigid at all
Epiphany permits another image
You are the sun and the frail creature is lifeless-
Seasonal hibernation stifles her growth
The radiance of your luminescence awakens her
She blooms with the warmth of your touch
She lives with the gift of your solar kiss.
:iconmadcat133:madcat133 9 4
Point Commission : FreyaHavokSeymour by YumikoNagi Point Commission : FreyaHavokSeymour :iconyumikonagi:YumikoNagi 38 23 Point Commission : Eloise-chan by YumikoNagi Point Commission : Eloise-chan :iconyumikonagi:YumikoNagi 33 8 Assan by kaige13 Assan :iconkaige13:kaige13 40 6 Point Commission : NisaNoArika by YumikoNagi Point Commission : NisaNoArika :iconyumikonagi:YumikoNagi 41 19 Request : Wingzer1256 by YumikoNagi Request : Wingzer1256 :iconyumikonagi:YumikoNagi 23 12
- My Favorite Works From The Wonderful Community Of DeviantART -



    Centered in a grave yard with my mission complete and so many answered questions yet still so many unanswered ones, I knew my time was coming to an end. I was a walking epidemic. I am become death. A danger to everyone and everything around me. I was no good to anyone anymore. My usefulness was to come to a bitter end. The virus inside my body was not going to be the reaper though; I was. 
   As I placed the barrel of the gun in my mouth. With shaky hands I tried my best to get a steady shot. I had to make this count. Though my breaths were quick and my heart race was going a very fast pace. I was tired of being scared. I can't think of what brought me here anymore and I can't let it stop me now. No one would benefit from my existence. Not anymore they wouldn't. I closed my eyes and finally swallowed everything. I pulled the trigger, yet I was still alive. The chamber had not been filled. In all of my panic and frustration, I had forgotten to load the chamber. Ironic isn't it? A "legendary hero" such as myself forgetting to load a gun. Heh.
   I tried to comprehend what had just happened. Breathing quick on my knees still hands clutched in the grass below me. I grasped for more air.
   Then I herd a voice. "That is right, it isn't your time just yet."
   Quickly I summoned the strength to stand and met this man only find a gun in his hands. I loaded the one I had just tried to use to end my life and was ready. He walked and pointed his gun at me and I the same to him. Then he dropped his and the next thing I know he rushes to me and disarms me only to embrace me. In a soft voice he told me. "Let it go, my son."
   This man then spoke of the truth I had been seeking and ones of regrets and the lies that were told. He also told me the virus had been overcome by a new one inside me and no longer was I a walking epidemic. I could live my life now, the future I didn't even know if I wanted. He told me the world ends with this death. He was the last of the cause of such ruin and despair. After ending where it started. Zero had been erased and now a new age could begin.
   As this man slowly began to die because of similar virus inside of him, I lit him one last cigar and stayed by his side. In his dying breath. So much regret and sadness laid in his departure. Mistakes he wishes he could fix...lives to take back. He said with his final breath, knowing that with his death it all ends and a new age of peace can begin in the world: "This is good, isn't it?"

[ A little something I felt like writing. I left details out on purpose. if you read this and understand where this is from well then that is great. I wanted to a perspective on the main character. his thoughts and feelings. Hope this as worth a read. ]
  • Listening to: Metal Gear Solid OST
  • Playing: Metal Gear Solid 4 Sons Of The Partriots
  • Eating: Goldfish
  • Drinking: Mountain Dew


BigBossPatriot1885's Profile Picture
Cody Paxton
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
I am a normal sensitive adult with a very caring personality. I have much to share and I hope many may enjoy my work.
I am a writer more than a drawer.
I enjoy metal music the most but I listen to just about anything. I enjoy anime among videogames and hanging out with friends. A normal teen/adult :)



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WhereICallHome Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Thanks for the favourite!
xxnefariousxx Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the watch, darlin'! :heart:
BigBossPatriot1885 Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
More than welcome. Keep up the great work :)
Farremo Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2013
thanks for the fav :hug:
BigBossPatriot1885 Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You are more than welcome :)
ScullReaper Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for fav
BigBossPatriot1885 Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
np :)
Simita Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank for the fave my tutorial: [link] , Part III is coming soon, so keep watching me :3
foxeshunthounds Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013
Hey! Thanks for faving my poem
knight-of-sand Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you so much for the watch, my dear friend :hug::heart:!!
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